Adam Koren’s Blog
Spaciousness
I value spaciousness.
Our culture pushes us to do as much as possible in a day. A lot of people see free time as time to be filled. We cram our schedules back to back, and fit as much as possible in before the day is done.
I do things differently. I make sure there is spaciousness and ease in my schedule. It’s something I really enjoy about running my own business. I don’t do hustle culture. I don’t even drink coffee.
When I have a morning of appointments, I leave the afternoon open. I’ll actually block my calendar.
What that means is that I often have time for things that show up spontaneously, and I’m more able to respond to the unexpected. It also means that I tend to show up to appointments prepared and ready to give my full attention.
Think about the difference between a 10 minute break versus a 1 hour break. When you only have 10 minutes, you rush to the bathroom, respond to an urgent text, and then you jump back in.
When you have an hour, you have space to digest what you just did, and prepare for what you’re going to do next. You have time to make yourself a snack, get some quick tasks accomplished, or even go for a walk. (I sometimes even <gasp> take a nap.)
It’s true, I don’t have kids. I don’t mean to lord my spaciousness over you, I think I’m just wanting to speak to a possibility, another way.
I know not everyone has the privilege of free time. But I also think that a lot of people could have more free time than they think. By making spaciousness a priority, we actually end up being more productive, because we show up for what we need to do relaxed, prepared, undistracted, and ready to make the most of the time. More relaxed means more happy.
What would it look like to give yourself a little more buffer time in your days?
Addressing Money Issues as a Couple
Navigating finances as a couple can feel vulnerable. Money is deeply personal. We all have different habits, values, and emotions tied up in how we spend, save, and think about money.
When you combine your life with someone, it inevitably brings up financial questions. How will we split shared expenses? What are each of our financial priorities? Do we combine all accounts or keep some separate? How do we talk about debt, budgets, retirement savings, and more?
These money talks can feel scary. Many couples avoid having hard financial conversations. It’s easier in the moment to ignore tension and uncertainty. But unaddressed conflict around finances is one of the top predictors of divorce.
In the past 7 years of being a money coach, I’ve learned a lot about how to help couples address their conflicts around money.
What I’ve found to be essential for couples is the cultivation of a safe space to discuss money openly and honestly – one where each person feels heard and secure.
From there you can:
- Unpack each of your unique financial histories, anxieties, and goals without judgment. Increased understanding leads to finding solutions that work for both people.
- Make specific shared plans for combining accounts, budgeting, paying off debt that work for you both. No more guessing.
- Learn skills like productive conflict and empathetic listening so future money talks are calm and solution-focused.
- Release guilt, shame and fear around finances. Feel more confident together.
You don’t have to do this work alone. I offer a free one-hour consultation so we can meet and see if my support might be helpful for you. If money is causing relationship tension, please reach out. You deserve financial peace, as a couple.